The Not So Innocent Bystanders
by TeddyLuver
Summary: A lot of poor, innocent people have been caught up in the heat of Chad and Sonny's love-hate relationship. Hear the story from their point of view, as they tell us how they dealt with the cutest, yet most stubborn, couple of all time.
1. Relationship Wizard

**Hey there, everyone! Who saw StarStruck? Eep, I love Sterling Knight!! Ahh! He is so cute! =D **

**Sigh... the movie was really cute, not as good as SWAC though. One part really confused me though. When Stubby gets mad at Christopher after they watch the video of Jessica in Michigan, does he say "I'm going to FIRE my best friend," or "I'm going to FIND my best friend," ? I couldn't tell which one it was. **

**Disclaimer: I'm tired of saying I don't own SWAC! So, I'm having a robot say it for me. *presses button* **

***robot voice* Teddy-Luver-does-not-own-Sonny-with-a-Chance-or-Selena-Gomez. **

* * *

The (Not So) Innocent Bystanders

Selena Gomez - The Relationship Wizard

_Chad Dylan Cooper had better be grateful_, I grumbled to myself as I wandered the halls of Condor Studios, trying to find Chad. I can't believe I canceled Camp Hip Hop for this. But, Chad and I are really good friends, and I couldn't exactly deny him this, could I?

Oh, I suppose I should introduce myself. My name is Selena Gomez, you probably know me from _Wizards of Waverly Place_, on Disney Channel. What was a Disney star such as myself doing at Condor Studios? Well, the great Chad Dylan Cooper (note sarcasm), had practically begged me to be in his new movie, Chad Dylan Cooper: A Chad Dylan Cooper Story by Chad Dylan Cooper Productions. I mean, really? He couldn't think of a better name?

Anyway, Chad wanted me to play some girl named Sonny Munroe. I'd heard of her before. She was on So Random! which was a funny comedy show that I'd watched a couple of times. I heard some arguing going on from one of the audition rooms. It sounded like Chad's voice, so I went to go in.

Before I could open the door though, it was opened by some brunette girl in a green sweater dress. Chad was standing behind her, looking slightly angry and slightly bored. The girl's mouth dropped open. Oh, a fan, I thought.

"Ohmigosh! Selena Gomez!" she squealed excitedly. I smiled tentatively. "Can I get your autograph? Here, sign this _lousy script_." She thrust a piece of paper into my hands, but I gently pushed past her and walked towards Chad.

"Hey, Chad," I greeted him. "I got your text, and yes I'll play the part of Sonny." Yes, you heard me right. That doofus asked me to play the part in a _text._ He was lucky I was such a nice person. Chad sighed in relief theatrically. Drama king.

"What?" the girl behind me exclaimed. Probably shocked that I would be doing this movie instead of Camp Hip Hop. Yeah, I was too.

"Personally, I think the character's a bit dull," I said truthfully. "But, I'll liven her up." Then I realized, I didn't even know this girl's name. "And, you are...?"

"The dull girl that you need to liven up," she replied, looking peeved. Oh, crap. This was not good. Great first impression, Gomez. Just then, Chad made the situation even more awkward by saying "Awkward" into his megaphone. Smooth, Cooper, real smooth.

I felt bad for insulting Sonny in that way. So, I apologized to her. She accepted my apology, but still looked slightly upset. I realized that this was the perfect opportunity to learn a little bit more about my character. So, I followed Sonny around. She didn't really notice at first, but after a while I think she started to get a little creeped out.

"Can I help you?" she asked me, after I followed her to a snack table.

"No, no, carry on," I replied, smiling. She reached for a cup, and I did too. I suppose I was going a bit overboard, but it was starting to get kind of funny. She picked up a muffin and chucked it behind her, and I copied her. Both muffins hit some poor man, who ran away, scared. I stifled my laughter. Just then, Sonny started doing some really strange version of the macarena. She brushed some of her hair out of her eyes and stared at me defiantly.

"Not a very good dancer," I said into my little microphone recorder thingy, which I always carried with me. Sonny looked shocked, and slightly hurt. Oops.

"What are you doing?" she demanded. "And why are you saying things about me into a recorder?"

"Well, if I want to play you, I want to play you honestly and realistically." I told her, before noting something else about her. "Flat hair." I said into the recorder.

"My hair is not flat!" she defended. Ooh, touchy.

"Defensive about hair." I added.

"Would you stop?" she asked me, looking hurt.

"I'm sorry, I know it's weird," I said, feeling kind of bad. "But I really like to get into my character."

"Oh, I know exactly how you feel!" Sonny exclaimed, her mood changing completely. Whoa. She then proceeded to explain how she did all these wacky things while playing a dog character. I laughed sort of tentatively. Sonny was a little strange, but I was beginning to like her.

"Well, if someone has to play me, I'm glad it's Selena Gomez," she said finally.

"Aw, thank you," I said, touched. I was glad we were getting along.

"If there's anything you want to know about me, just ask," Sonny said. Well, there was one thing...

"I just wanted to know..." I trailed off, unsure. "Are you mad at me because I got the part and you didn't?" I heard what Chad said. Typical. A strange look crossed Sonny's face. I guessed that this was a touchy subject.

"What? Psh, no, girl! No," Sonny answered, smiling falsely, her voice getting really high. Ah, I should've known.

"Voice gets high when in denial," I spoke into my recorder. She then said she wasn't in denial, but she said it in her denial voice, realized this and tried to speak lower. I gave her a skeptic look.

"Okay, look, you don't know Chad," she explained. Actually, unfortunately, I do. "It's just, he's so annoying, and this is so typical of him. He just likes to push my buttons."

Right then, I noticed the tone of which Sonny was talking about Chad in. It was annoyed, aggravated, but underneath that, almost wistful. Longing. I'm pretty good at reading relationships, and I was pretty sure Little Miss Sonshine had a crush on the greatest (cough cough) actor of our generation.

Soon, it was time for the first rehearsal. I invited Sonny to come along and watch, and she agreed, sort of reluctantly. I wanted her there because I was going to confront her about her feelings for Chad.

"All right, this is the scene when you barge onto the set of MacKenzie Falls," I told her. "Now, when this really happened, do you remember how you felt?" Sonny hesitated a moment before speaking.

"Ooh, probably mad, cuz I'm always mad when I have to go see _Chad_," she answered, saying the last word with contempt. But I could easily see under that.

"Right," I countered. "But really, you're mad at yourself because of how much you _like_ him."

"Right," Sonny replied absentmindedly. Ha! I knew it! Then, an expression of shock crossed her features. "What?! What, no! I don't like Chad!" High voice. "I mean, I don't like Chad," she said lowering her voice.

"Sure you do! It's right here in the script," I told her, showing her the script. Sonny grabbed the script from me and read it over.

"All it says in 'Fine, fine, good, good, fine, fine!'" she cried, shoving the script back at me. Uh, hello? If that's not flirting, I don't know what is.

"It's not what the lines say, it's what's between the lines," I sighed. Clearly this was going to be more difficult than expected. Sonny kept insisting that there was 'nothing between those lines, trust me'. Psh, yeah right. And my name isn't Selena Gomez. She gave this whole big speech about how she was not in denial (which she so was).

Then Chad came in with is megaphone, announcing they were about to start shooting. Does he even know how annoying he is? I can see why Sonny gets frustrated with him. She marched off to go sit in a chair off to the side.

"Look Portlyn," Chad said to Portlyn's actor. "Once fall comes back to the Falls, I need to be free. Shh, the time for talking is over." I resisted the urge to roll my eyes.

"What's the matter with you?" I demanded, getting into Sonny-mode. I stormed onto the set.

"What's the matter with me, what's the matter with-" Chad paused. "Those words didn't come out of your mouth."

"You've got great legs Portlyn, let's see how they move." I drew back and stage-punched Portlyn who fell backwards into a chair.

"Hey, I never punched her!" Sonny protested from the back. Someone shushed her.

"What do you think you're doing?" Chad demanded. "You can't just barge in here and interrupt Chad Dylan Cooper when he's in the middle of making MacKenzie Falls magic!" God, he is so full of himself.

"I think I've made my point," I countered.

"Good!"

"Good!"

"Fine!"

"Fine!"

Now, instead of saying waiting for Chad to say his next line (which, shockingly, was "Good!") , I thought it would be a good idea to do something that I think Sonny really would do. Or, that she should have. I mean, really? It was so obvious she liked him. Plus, doing this would make her jealous, proving to her that she does like him.

So, I jumped up and kissed Chad. Not on the lips. Ew, no way. I stage-kissed him by putting my hand over his mouth. Chad stumbled backwards. Just as I predicted, Sonny leapt up and grabbed the megaphone.

"Cut!" she screamed, jealously clear in her voice. "Cut! Cut it out!" I got off of Chad, and wiped my mouth thoroughly. Sonny looked really hurt, and Chad looked kind of dazed.

"Uh, take five everyone," he said, still lying in a heap on the floor. I smirked and walked over to my makeup artist, Sonny trailing after me, looking furious.

"I can't believe you kissed Chad!" she cried. "Where in the script does it say that Sonny kisses Chad?" Oh, she was so jealous.

"It's not in the script," I can't believe I had to explain this to her. "I told you, I wanted to play your character honestly." Sonny's face changed to one of embarrassment, and denial. She began to laugh fakely.

"Ha ha ha, okay, you honestly think that I would kiss him?" she asked, skeptical. Hmm, she was a good actress, but I could still see through her.

"Ha ha ha, yes I do," I replied, imitating her.

"Well, I would never kiss him," she scoffed, in a poor attempt at nonchalance.

"In that scene," I gave her. It was true, that probably wasn't the most romantic setting ever.

"No!" Sonny exclaimed, her voice getting higher and higher. "Not anywhere! Not in that scene, not in a dream. Not in a car, not near, not far, not here, not there, not anywhere, not-I'm rhyming, aren't I?" I nodded, smirking. "See, I do that, when I don't want to kiss somebody." Oh, please.

"Really, Sonny, really?" I asked her, using one of Chad's most famous (and most annoying) lines.

"Now you sound like Chad!" she cried, exasperated.

"Well, that line is in the script," I laughed. "On page eighteen, twenty-nine, and twice on thirty-two."

"Wow, he does say that a lot, doesn't he?" Sonny laughed. Gee, I wonder why?

"Well, maybe it's because he has the same issues as you do." Sonny turned to me, shocked.

"Wha? Pff, what? W-what are you?" she spluttered, obviously flustered at the idea of Chad liking her. "Some kind of expert on how people feel about each other? Some sort of... some sort of relationship... ah, what's the word? Wizard!" she gasped, pointing an accusing finger at me.

"Yes!" she cried angrily. Whoa there. "You like to sprinkle your wizardy relationship dust all over people you think you know, but you don't! No! You don't! So, you know what I say? I say, _good day wizard._" She began to storm away, before turning back. "I said good day" she hissed before disappearing somewhere.

Well, that was unexpected. She thinks I'm actually a wizard? Wow.

"Wow, what's up with her?" Chad asked, coming up next to me. Ha! I knew he cared. Maybe he'll admit it.

"Oh, I think she's just upset because of how much you like her." I replied.

"Hah, right," he answered, before stopping. "What? Psh, what? I don't like- I don't like Sonny, where'd you get that idea?" Oh, god. These two were horribly stubborn.

"You know, Chad?" I told him, putting a hand on his shoulder. "You and Sonny may be good at playing characters, but you're _terrible_ at playing yourselves." I walked away, frustrated, leaving Chad ranting about how many people auditioned for Chad Dylan Cooper. Really, Chad, really?

I went to go look at the different outfits that they had for the movie. Some of them were really cute. You know me, I'm all about fashion. Suddenly, the clothes parted and Sonny stared up at me, wearing the weirdest wizard costume I had ever seen.

"Abracadabra!" she shouted. Oh, really?

"Oh, what is this now?" I cried despairingly. Could I not even pick out an outfit in peace?

"Well, how do you like me playing you?" she asked, walking around to face me. "Oh look at me, I'm Selena Gomez, I'm the relationship wizard. I know everything! Edmono utosis!" Oh, now she was beginning to piss me off.

"Oh, check it out, I'm Sonny from Wisconsin!" I retorted, imitating her. "I'm just an exploding ball of sunshine! Check it out! Check it out! Check it out!"

"Look at me, I'm Selena!" Sonny countered. "I went to acting school to learn how to do this. Cashmerus appearus!" Oh, she did not. She began to wave around something. "Yeah, it's an invisible wand." I was really mad now.

"Yeah, well, look at me I'm Sonny!" I shot back. "And I'm ticking off the person who's playing me in a movie, and maybe I shouldn't do that, because she could make me look really bad!" Hopefully she would get the hint.

"Well, look at me I'm Selena," Sonny replied. "And... I would never do that to Sonny, girl." Sonny laughed nervously, and I joined in half-heartedly. Just then Chad appeared in front of us.

"Hey, Selena," he grinned at me, before turning to Sonny. "Hey... Scary Potter." Ooh, nice one. "Oh, don't mind me, ladies. I'm just here to get a fresh beret and a re-charged megaphone." He quickly changed berets before grabbing a new megaphone. "See you on set." he winked before exiting.

"I don't know _what_ you see in that guy," I laughed. I mean, really? Chad was so vain. Once again, Sonny denied the fact that she liked Chad. So, this time, I offered her to be my Sonny-consultant. She would help me play her how she thought I should play her.

* * *

Interestingly enough, the way Chad had written it, Sonny ended up falling in love with him in his movie. I mean, could you get any more obvious? Who writes someone as their love-interest if they're not in love with the person?

"Oh, Chad, dreamy, dreamy, Chad" I sighed, acting in one of the scenes. It took all my acting skills to not barf as I said that. "Of all the eyes in all of Hollywood, I had to stare into yours."

"Cut!" Sonny barged onto the set, with her own beret and megaphone, dragging a lime green So Random! chair. "That's not how it happened."

"What are you doing here?" Chad demanded. "Get off my set, we're trying to make a movie here."

"Oh, it's okay, I hired her," I informed him. Chad looked surprised and confused.

"For what?" he asked.

"Oh, I'm her Sonny consultant," she replied. "Now, Selena, I think you're playing it wrong. Just remember, when he's staring into your eyes, he's actually staring into his reflection in your eyes." Ouch. "And you hate him. Okay, action!"

"Hey, I say action!" Chad protested.

"Well, I say it better!" Sonny countered.

"Action!"

"Action!"

"Action!"

"Action!"

"Oh, would you just do the stupid scene?!" I yelled, completely aggravated. These two are so annoying!

"Oh, Sonny," Chad began dramatically. "Try to stop yourself from falling in love with me. I beg you."

"I'm just a small town girl with a big town dream, and meeting you has been the biggest dream of all," I replied. Okay, seriously? Who writes that if they're not in love? Really?

"Okay, cut cut cut cut cut cut!" Sonny walked onto the stage again.

"Again, really?" Chad demanded.

"It's okay, Chad, she's helping me out," I soothed him.

"Okay, Selena, remember, you're biggest dream is to be on So Random!" Sonny reminded me. "Chad is just the monster that wakes you up. And remember, you hate him. You just really, really hate him." Translation: I love him.

"Okay, action!" Sonny called out. Chad opened his mouth, but Sonny interupted. "Oh, and one more thing: he's the _worst_ actor of our generation." And, that was the straw that broke the camel's back.

"Bart!" Chad yelled, grabbing a megaphone. "Stop the lying!"

"You stop the lying!" Sonny shouted back.

"You stop the lying!"

"Stop!" I yelled. "Stop, stop being- stop- just stop it!" I breathed heavily. "Gosh, I was wrong. You two should never be together." Of course, I was lying. It's called acting. I just wanted to see their reactions.

"Finally!" Sonny exclaimed. "I've been trying to tell her that all day!"

"You've been trying to tell her that?" Chad asked. "I've been trying to tell her that, too!"

"Well, I told her first!" Sonny countered. Gee, defensive much? "She thinks she's some sort of relationship wizard, pfft!"

"Yeah, look at her with her little wizardy magic beans," Chad agreed. Wizardy magic beans? Really Chad, really?

"Who does she think she is to tell us that we can't like each other?" Chad continued. I never said that... "If I wanna like you," Chad turned on his megaphone. "I will."

Oh my gosh. I do not believe this. Are you kidding me?

"Yeah, and if I wanna like you," Sonny turned her megaphone on too. "I will." Oh my god. Really?

"If I wanna think you have pretty hair, I will." Chad replied. Really, Chad, really?

"And if I wanna think you have sparkly eyes, then I will." Sonny added. Okay, these two are officially impossible.

"So take that Selena!" Chad said to me.

"In your face Gomez!" Sonny replied. They bumped fists and turned to me.

"Wow. Yes." I said sarcastically. "You guys got me. There's _nothing_ going on here. At all." Oh, now I was mad. I grabbed a megaphone. "You two are... perfect for each other! I'm out of here!" I shouted, then stormed off.

"Wait... so you're leaving my movie?" Chad asked.

"I don't need this!" I scoffed. Did he seriously think I was staying? "I was in Camp Hip Hop!" I yelled, before storming off.

"Okay, well, bye Selena!" Sonny called after me. "It was nice working with you!" The feeling's not mutual.

I went back and shot Camp Hip Hop, where I got to work with the Jonas brothers, which was _so_ much more fun than Chad's movie. But, with Chad and Sonny, I'm pretty sure they'll get together... someday. Because they really are perfect for each other.

They're just too damn stubborn to see it.

* * *

**So, what did you think? I wanted to do a episode-based story, and this seemed better than just writing the plain old episodes from Chad and Sonny's point of view. **

**Poor Selena. I pity all these people who had to work with Chad and Sonny. =P **

**Reveiws would be great. Thank you! **


	2. He dumps from a distance

**Wow, two updates in two days! Not bad, if you ask me. ;) **

**Disclaimer: I don't own Sonny with a Chance. Sigh. **

* * *

The (Not So) Innocent Bystanders

James Conroy - He dumps... from a distance

"Hey there," I winked at the cafeteria lady. "You know what I love? That new hairnet. It really brings out the sparkle in your eye. You know what else I love? Tacos."

The cafeteria lady giggled girlishly at me, and put a few tacos on my plate. Score! James Conroy always gets what he wants. I walked over to the condiments section, glancing briefly at some of the ick the others had to eat. Poor them.

"Oh, that looks tasty," I looked up to see a really cute girl in a teapot outfit. "That looks really tasty." she giggled again. "I meant the food on your plate." she clarified, blushing a little. Sure you did, sweetie, sure you did. It's okay. It's hard not to be wowed by all of this.

"Yeah, I sweet-talked the cafeteria lady," I replied. "I told her the hairnet really brought out the sparkle in her eye." I turned and winked at the cafeteria lady again. "Thanks" I called out to her. "Can I get a taco for the teapot?" Smooth, Conroy, good work so far.

"The teapot has a name," the cute girl told me. "It's Sonny."

"Yes, you are," I said smoothly. "But what's your name?" Sonny giggled and blushed slightly.

"Smooth," she commented. Of course I am.

"Yes, I am" I replied suavely. From this point on, let's just assume that everything I say is either said smoothly or suavely or something like that. "But you can call me James."

"Hey," I turned around to see my pal Chad Dylan Cooper standing behind me. I was guest-starring on MacKenzie Falls this week. "I got her to make me a rack of lamb!" Awesome!

"Aw, man, I love lamb!" I exclaimed. Chad punched my playfully on the arm.

"Well, stick with me man, you'll have a great time here," he said. Suddenly, Chad caught sight of Sonny. "Sonny." he said stiffly.

"Chad," she replied, just as stiffly. Whoa, what's going on here?

"Anyways, they're shooting our scene, we should probably go" Chad turned back to me. Hey, wait, dude, hang on. I was just about to make a pass at the teapot, I mean Sonny.

"Oh, you're on MacKenzie Falls this week?" Sonny asked me. Ooh, a fan. "Let me guess: stuck up MacKenzie being chased by bad-boy bank robber." Okay, maybe not a fan. But dang, she was a good guesser. Chad looked kind of pissed.

"Let me guess: Life at the Boston Tea Party," he retorted, looking at her teapot outfit.

"At least my show brings joy to it's viewers," Sonny countered, with a sarcastic smile.

"At least my show _has_ viewers," Chad shot back. Ouch. Whoa, something's going on here for sure.

"Wow," I said, looking between them. "What's going on here?" Expressions of shock and embarrassment crossed both of their faces.

"Nothing," Chad replied all too quickly.

"It's beyond nothing," Sonny echoed right after him.

"I-It's certainly nothing to be late over," Chad stuttered. "Our scene's up first after lunch." he told me before turning to Sonny with a fake smile. "Sonny."

"Chad," Sonny gave him a false smile in return. Chad scowled before storming off. Wow. Nothing, eh? Didn't seem like nothing to me.

"You know, for something you said was nothing, that sure seemed like something," I told Sonny, who... blushed a little?

"Oh, well, um, you know," she said uncertainly. "It's a day to day something. Sometimes hour by hour. I don't know, it's complicated. He's complicated." She scowled at the end.

Well, it seems like someone had a little love-hate thing going on with CDC. Sorry, Chad, but you should've been quicker. This one's mine.

"Well, I'm not," I smiled at her, turning up the charm. "My name is James Conroy, and I'd like to take you out tonight." Yep, that's me. Smooth and to the point.

"Well, there's nothing complicated about that," Sonny giggled girlishly. Score one for Conroy.

"So, I'll take that as yes?" I asked.

"You can take that as a maybe," Sonny grinned at me, before taking the taco tray out of my hands and strutting away. Oh, man, she was hot. Playing hard to get, eh sunshine? Well, know that James Conroy gets even the hardest to get.

Looks like I'd have to turn up the charm a little more for this one. Good thing charm is my middle name. Not really, but whatever. I ordered a huge bouquet of flowers to be sent to Sonny's dressing room.

I was going to call her, but then I realized I left my phone in the cafeteria. I didn't really feel like getting it. Then, I noticed Chad's phone lying on a table. Perfect. For some reason, he had Sonny on Caller ID already.

"What do you want, Chad?" she asked, sounding irritated. Ouch, I guess she didn't really like him at all.

"It's James," I told her, and I heard her gasp from the other end. Yep, I do have that effect on the ladies.

"Hi, James, how's it going?" she asked happily. "Oh, I love the flowers, they're so beautiful."

"It was my pleasure," I told her. Just then Chad walked up behind me.

"Dude, is that my phone?" he asked. Oops.

"Uh, yeah it is, thanks," I told him. "I gotta make this fast," I said to Sonny. "Do you wanna go out tonight?"

"Tonight?" Sonny asked, hesitating a little bit. I heard some talking from the other end. "I'd love to." she said finally. Cha-ching!

"Cool," I replied.

"Cool," she giggled.

"Bye," I said.

"Bye," she grinned.

"You hang up first," I said. Girls love it when I do that.

"No, you hang up first," she giggled.

"I'll hang up!" another voice said, then it was cut off. Huh. Weird. Oh well. I had a date with the hot teapot, I mean Sonny. Just then, Chad reminded me it was time to shoot.

"Give me all your money!" I shouted as the lights flashed. "You'll never take me alive!" I did a tuck and roll off the stage and stood up in a karate pose.

"Hey, dude, are you taking Sonny out?" a voice behind me said. I turned to see Chad, looking upset. Ooh, someone's jealous.

"Why do you care?" I asked.

"I don't," he replied too quickly. Uh huh, sure you don't Cooper.

"Yeah, I get that from your eyes," I said sarcastically. Really, his eyes totally had JEALOUSY written all over them. Well, sucks to be you, doesn't it Cooper? I turned back to the set.

"You'll still never take me alive!" I yelled. "But I forgot something." I did a tuck and roll back onto the stage. Seriously, I don't get this show. But whatever.

* * *

I picked Sonny up at 7:30, and took her to Arcadia, which was the hottest arcade/diner in all of Hollywood. I challenged her to a bunch of games, which she all won. Okay, that was not cool.

"Could we do something I actually have a chance of winning?" I asked finally, after losing to air hockey (and having to buy burgers). "Like eating?"

"Oh, don't be so sure," Sonny smiled at me. "All that winning made me really hungry?" What? Weren't girls supposed to be totally watching their weight and stuff? We sat down in one of the booths. "So, what looks good?" Sonny asked, reading the menu.

"You," I smirked at her, causing her to blush and giggle. Suddenly, a blonde flew into the seat beside Sonny.

"Sorry I'm late!" she cried. Wait, TAWNI HART? What the hell is the doing here? Apparently Sonny was thinking the same thing.

"Tawni?!" she cried, and I echoed her.

"James," Tawni smiled at me, before turning to Sonny. "So, what did I miss?"

"An invitation," Sonny spat at her. Ouch. "What are you doing here?"

"I like chicken fingers and skee ball," Tawni said unconvincingly. Yeah, right. When I dated her, the only thing Tawni wanted to eat were fancy foods like caviar and paté, what ever those are. Suddenly, someone else slipped into the seat next to me.

"Ooh, sorry I'm late," he said. CHAD?! Oh, he'd better not be crashing my date because he's jealous. "What'd I miss?"

"Tawni likes chicken fingers and skee ball!" I told him. "What are you doing here?"

"I came to hang out with my bro!" he exclaimed, hitting me playfully. Oh, sure. You came cuz you're jealous, Cooper. "So, what are you doing here?" he asked Sonny. Hello, she's my date, doofus!

"What are _you_ doing here?" Tawni asked him.

"What are _they_ doing here?" I asked Sonny.

"What are _we_ still doing here?" she asked back. Teapot, I mean Sonny, had a point.

"Do you wanna make a break for it?" I asked her. "I know how to tuck and roll."

"I am right behind you," she said. We lunged towards the exit, but Tawni grabbed Sonny and Chad grabbed me, pulling us back into our seats.

"Who's up for some chicken fingers and skee ball?" Tawni laughed nervously, but Sonny and I just glared at her.

"So," Chad said, breaking the awkward silence.

"So," I retorted bitterly. I mean, the dude just comes and ruins my chance with the hottie teapot! I mean, Sonny.

"So..." Tawni said awkwardly.

"So," Sonny glared at her. "How bout you and I partake in a friendly game of air hockey?" she asked Tawni.

"Oh, it's not really.. ow!" Tawni cried as Sonny grabbed her arm and dragged her away. I could hear them arguing over by the air hockey table. Something about me... and Sonny? Oh, I get it. Tawni was jealous too, so she was trying to break us up.

I noticed how sexy Tawni looked in her t-shirt and skinny jeans. Especially with those heels. Man!

"So, you having a good time on your date?" Chad asked me. Oh, really, now he asks?

"I was until it was rudely interrupted." I retorted, glaring at him.

"I know, Tawni's a piece of work, right?" he chuckled. Oh, yes she was, but not in the way he was thinking.

"Oh, she is so cute when she's angry," I said, looking at Tawni calling me a jerk.

"Pff, Sonny's always cute," Chad said. Wait, Sonny? "She can't do anything without it being cute. Stupid cute." Ha, I knew it. Chad had a crush on little miss sunshine too. Well, he could have her. Tawni was much hotter.

"No, dude, I am talking about Tawni!" I exclaimed.

"I'm sorry, I thought you just said Tawni," he told me. I did, are you rude and deaf?

"I did," I clarified, watching Tawni badmouth me. Call me weird, but it just turned me on. "Oh, she hates me so much! Gah, I love it!" I cried. Tawni strutted away, and Sonny sat back down in our booth, scowling.

"Whoo," Chad said awkwardly. "I mean, I thought she'd never leave." Sonny glared at him, and Chad took the hint and left.

"Look, Sonny," I began. "I'm sorry they ruined our date. Maybe we could do this again some other time?"

"Yeah, okay," Sonny sighed. "Sorry, James. I was having a lot of fun." I nodded, and drove Sonny home. The way back, all I could think about was Tawni. I mean, screw Sonny, blondes are so much hotter. I texted Tawni asking her if she wanted to go out with me, and sent her some flowers. Surprisingly, she said yes.

* * *

So, here I was, sitting at a booth in Arcadia with Tawni Hart. She looked even hotter than she did last night. Those flowers must have done the trick.

"You know, I have to be honest," I told Tawni. "I was pretty surprised when you said yes."

"Well, you texted, you called, you sent flowers," Tawni said flirtatiously. "You just don't let a girl say no, do ya bad boy?"

"No," I winked at her, causing her to giggle. I glanced over to another booth, to see something shocking. Sonny Munroe was sitting in a booth and flirting with none other than Chad Dylan Cooper. Was she serious?!

"Oh, you have got to be kidding me!" I exclaimed. "She's already on a date? Man, she works fast!"

"Oh come on, let's not talk about Sonny, and how she's _completely over you_," Tawni told me. Completely over me? Just like that? I didn't even officially 'break up' with her. "Let's talk about me, and how much I'm into you." Tawni grinned scarily, leaning forward. "I like us." O-kay? I scooted backward a little, slightly freaked out.

"Ooh, lookie!" she giggled, presing some buttons on her phone. "I just changed my online status to 're-dating James Conroy'. And I got into your account and changed your status to 'crazy for Tawni Hart!'" She laughed maniacally. Now I was really freaked out. Can you say stalker? Suddenly, leaving Sonny didn't seem like such a good idea.

I glanced over to see Sonny's head on Chad's shoulder, and his arm around her. They began to flirt and giggle. Sonny tweaked Chad's nose and he pretended to nibble on her ear. Oh my gosh. Wow, they were serious. Geez. I was beginning to feel that I shouldn't have left Sonny. Hey, I'm James Conroy. She'll take me back.

"You know what I want?" Tawni asked, causing me to look away. "Potato skins. And to go to Paris with you in the spring!" Holy crap. Okay, that's official. This girl is psycho.

"T-that's four months away," I stuttered, seriously freaked. "Who knows what I- I mean, we- I mean you, will be doing by then." I pulled out Chad's phone and sent a quick text to Sonny, then sat back pleased. She'd take me back for sure.

I saw Sonny open her text, grin and say something to Chad. Aw, poor Cooper. Hopefully she'd let him down easy. Suddenly, the two other guys from So Random! plopped into the seat beside Sonny. They looked angry, and Sonny and Chad looked nervous, like they'd just been caught. I decided to go over there and see what was going on.

"...so I could've helped you with your little fake date," the darker one was saying. Whoa, a fake date? They were fake dating? I knew she wasn't over me.

"Oh, so this is a fake date?" I asked suspiciously.

"No!" Sonny cried, and Chad hastily put his arm around her again. "No this is real, real as can be."

"So, you're lying to us?" the other one asked.

"No!" Sonny cried again, leaning away from Chad.

"So, you're lying to _me?_" I demanded. Okay, this was confusing. Were they dating or not? I was beginning to think not.

"No!" Sonny cried yet again, and Chad put his arm around her. "Look, would I do this if I were on a fake date?" Then, much to my horror, Sonny whirled around and kissed Chad right on the mouth. Oh my freaking god. Sonny pulled back, looking pleased. Chad just looked dazed.

"Oh, that settles it!" I cried. "I must have you back! Tawni!" I pulled out my phone and sent an email to Tawni. She scurried over. "Check your email." I said.

"Oh no, you are not dumping her for me," Sonny said, standing up. "Because I'm dumping you." What? She couldn't dump me. It doesn't work that way.

"Oh, no you can't dump me," I said, making sure she got the idea. "Because I don't get dumped, all right? I dump... from a distance."

"Not this time," Tawni hissed at me.

"Well, now we're dumping you," Sonny retorted. "Up close." Oh, this was not happening. This doesn't happen to James Conroy.

"Well, what do you want, like an apology or something?" I snickered. The other two dudes from So Random stood up.

"Yes," the dark one said. Uh oh. I turned to Chad.

"C'mon dude, back me up here," I pleaded. No, not pleaded. James Conroy does not plead.

"Yeah, you're on your own," Chad told me. "Oh, and I want my phone back." Reluctantly, I handed him his phone.

"I cannot believe that I thought you were cool," the chubby one said. Well, it's hard not to think I'm cool. Or hot. Or both.

"When did you think that?" the other one asked.

"I don't know, I just thought he was cool," the first one replied. Sensing that this wasn't going to get any better, I said:

"I should go." They all glared at me.

"Yeah, you should," Sonny shot at me. "And never come back."

"Allow us to show you the way out," the chubby dude said. Oh, please.

"No thanks," I told them. "I'll show myself out. You'll never take me alive!" I yelled, before doing a tuck and roll out of the arcade.

Yeah, okay, so I got dumped. Big whoop. Those wannabe's didn't deserve me anyway. All I can say is that Chad can have Sonny.

They'd have to get over their stupid denial issues first though.

* * *

**Okay, that one was a little harder to write, cuz James is such a jerk. I know they're all out of order, but oh well. **

**I need ideas for other perspective's I should do though. I was thinking I could do Hayden, but who else? Lucy, maybe? **

**Peace, love, and teddy bears,**

**~TeddyLuver**


	3. The Aweshomest BFF

**Hey, peeps! I realize I haven't updated this story in a while, so here you go! BTW, I posted some links to some SWAC Season 2 promos on my profile. Go check it out! **

**Disclaimer: I'm a little teapot, short and stout. Here is my handle, here is my spout. When I get all steamed up, here me shout: "I don't own Sonny with a Chance and I really wish I did but I'm just a lowly teenager"-out!**

**

* * *

**

The (Not So) Innocent Bystanders

Lucy Hastings - The Awshomest BFF

Oh. My. Gawd.

I couldn't believe it. I, Lucy Hastings, was in _Hollywood._ Yes, you heard me right. Hol-ly-wood. Quoting Anna Margaret: "Every day's a dream in California, every night the stars come out to play."

I pressed my face against the taxi excitedly as we zoomed through the streets of La-La Land. Squealing inwardly, (okay, maybe outwardly too), I noted the places in my head as we passed them. The Walk of Fame, Hollywood Boulevard, Malibu Beach...

"Here we are, ma'm," the taxi driver said, pulling up to Condor Studios. I handed him the money and hopped out of the car. My eyes huge, I walked up the pathway to _the _Condor Studios. Where my best friend, Sonny Munroe, worked on So Random! Quickly, I pulled out my phone and sent a text to Sonny.

_Hey Sonny-girl, _

_I just got here, hurry down! Can't wait 2 meet sum hollywood stars! eep! _

My mouth dropped open as I walked through the So Random! doors with my purple suitcase, looking around everywhere. Ohmigosh. This was beyond cool. There were director's chairs, snack tables, and a huge picture of the cast (including _my _BFF Sonny) on the wall. I saw some guy carrying a giant inflatable palm tree. Way cool!

"Lucy!" I heard a voice cry. I turned around to see my best friend Sonny running towards me.

"Sonny!" I screamed happily, and enveloped her in a huge hug.

"Oh, I miss you so much!" Sonny cried, beaming at me with her same Sonny-smile.

"Dude, Wisconsin stinks _so_ bad without you!" I grinned back at her. Sonny laughed happily.

"Speaking of stinks," she gave me a knowing look. "Do I smell..." Oh, she knew me too well.

"Oh, yes, you do," I replied, pulling out a brown paper sack and holding it out to her.

"A meatball sandwich from Sidelle's?!" Sonny exclaimed, while I jumped up and down happily. Sidelle's was the diner back in Middleton, where _everyone_ hung out. The food was horrible, and the waiters were grumpy, but it was the most famous chillax spot in town. Sonny peaked inside the bag and frowned.

"Ew, this is so disgusting," she said, looking at the gross mushy sandwich inside. "You are the best friend ever!" she beamed at me.

"No, you awe," I laughed, in a funny accent. It was this thing we always used to do to imitate Mrs. Johnson, who was the worst math teacher we had ever had. I swear, she hated everyone's guts, but she had the best accent.

"No, you awe," Sonny replied, grinning.

"You are aweshome," I said, doing the funny little hand motions.

"You are aweshomer," Sonny giggled, copying me. We laughed and hugged again. Oh, it felt so good to be with my best friend again! I was really happy that Sonny hadn't changed into one of those lying, cheating Hollywood celebrities that everyone talks about.

"We are going to have the best weekend!" Sonny exclaimed, and I nodded happily.

"I cannot believe I'm actually in Hollywood!" I squealed excitedly and Sonny grinned. "There are _so_ many things I want to do!" Go to the Walk of Fame, attend a Hollywood party, meet a few celebrities...

"Me too!" Sonny cried, pulling up a familiar looking orange pad. "I've got them all written down!"

"Fun-genda?" I asked, referring to the ones we always used to make at our sleepovers back in Wisconsin.

"You know it!" Sonny replied, beaming. "C'mon I'll show you around." Sonny draped an arm around me and began to lead me away. Oh my gosh. I'm at So Random! Oh, I hope I can meet Tawni Hart! According to Sonny, she's a _queen_. We dropped my suitcase off outside her dressing room and she led me to a room filled with random objects. No way.

"So, this is..." Sonny began, but I cut her off.

"The Prop House!" I squealed, walking around and ogling all the awesome props. "How cool is this place? Those are your antennas from the bee sketch!" I gasped, running over to them. I remember watching Sonny on her first show. I was so excited. I mean, my _best friend_ is a celebrity!

"Here, I'm working on a new character," Sonny told me, pulling on a long black wig. "Tell me what you think. Sit, sit." She said in a familiar accent.

"Rochelle from the hair salon back home!" I exclaimed, sitting down on one of the vinyl bar stools.

"Honey, too much blow dry!" Sonny said patronizingly, while I tried to keep from laughing. "And you no condition! You know I can't do nothing with this if you no condition! You make me cry." Finally, I laughed. Hey, you couldn't blame me, she sounded exactly like the demanding lady who used to always do our hair.

"Brava!" I heard a voice say. I looked up, and my eyes bugged open. Tawni Hart was standing in the balcony right above us.

"Tawni!" Sonny exclaimed, sounding surprised, and slightly worried. Oh, yeah, Sonny told me that she and Tawni didn't get along so well when they first met...

"Oh, the things you stumble upon when you're hiding and hoping to stumble upon something!" she said, smiling. That didn't really make sense, but I was too starstruck to care. I mean, _Tawni Hart_ was right there. My mouth dropped open as she slid down the twisty slide and walked towards us.

"And you must be the best friend I've heard just enough about!" Tawni grinned at me. Oh my gosh. Tawni Hart knew about me! Ahh! How cool was this?!

"I'm Lucy!" I breathed, walking tentatively towards her. Then I remembered what Sonny had said. "Your majesty, it is my greatest pleasure to meet you." I curtsied low and looked up to Tawni hopefully, who smiled, surprised.

"Uh, Lucy, she's not actually a queen, I just said she acts like one," Sonny said, pulling me up gently. Oh. Oops. Oh, well!

"Okay, we'd better go, we've got a pretty busy schedule!" Sonny said hurriedly, picking up her Fun-genda. What was her hurry? I mean, Tawni Hart was right there! Suddenly, I had a brilliant idea.

"Hey, maybe Tawni can come with!" I said hopefully. Please say yes, please say yes, please say yes!

"Oh, she's not really a come-wither," Sonny said, laughing somewhat forcedly.

"Au contraire!" Tawni giggled, tapping Sonny playfully. "When I'm invited to things, I don't pass." Sonny gave her a pointed look. Wait... I was lost. Was there something going on here that I don't know about?

"Well, we're just going to be doing things that are on my Fun-genda," Sonny said. "Which someone implied was a dumb-genda." Sonny looked at Tawni, and I was confused for a sec. "She doesn't get us." Sonny turned to me, making a face.

"Well, maybe Lulu here would rather do things up Hollywood Style," Tawni smiled, and I nearly fainted. Tawni. Hart. Gave. Me. A. Nickname. Ehmagawd!!!

"Her name is Lucy, and she'd rather do it up Wisconsin Style," Sonny laughed forcedly again, and put an arm around me. Was she crazy? I could do Wisconsin Style any old time. This was my chance to hang out with Tawni Hart!

"Oh, Lulu's fine," I breathed, wiggling out of Sonny's grasp and standing next to Tawni. "And I like all kinds of styles."

"Well, then we'll do it Tawni Style!" Tawni twirled around before grabbing my arm and skipping out the door. Oh my gosh, this was so exciting!

"Come on Sonny!" I called, as Tawni dragged me out the door. Sonny said something about dreamcatchers and followed us out.

"Where are we going? What are we doing first?" I asked excitedly as we walked towards the exit of So Random! I couldn't believe a Wisconsinite like me was actually hanging out with Tawni Hart!! Eeeep!! "I can't believe we're doing Hollywood things with Tawni!" I squealed, linking arms with both Sonny and Tawni.

"And don't forget we've got dreamcatchers at four!" Sonny said, causing me to frown slightly. I really wanted to go around Hollywood and do some sightseeing with my best friend, Sonny.

We had the best time though. We took pictures in front of the Chinese Theater, (_the_ Chinese Theater! I know!! Eep!), went to the actual Hollywood sign (which, BTW, is gaw-geous!), and even did some shopping!

Sonny was looking more and more hassled and upset as time went on. Our little outing ended up lasting nearly the whole weekend. Tawni took me to the most amazing places in Hollywood, and I had so much fun! She was even saying that Chad Dylan Cooper was having his birthday party tonight!! I would so love to go! I ran around the set looking for Sonny. Finally, I saw her in the Prop House and ran in.

"Sonny, there you-" I cut off with a huge gasp as I realized who was standing there.

Chad.

Dylan.

Cooper.

Was standing right in front of me. Oh. My. Freaking. God.

"Oh. My. Chad." I choked out, staring in awe at the dreamiest heartthrob ever. "No way! It's you! It's him!" I pointed at the cardboard cutout. OMG! Do you think he'd give it to me as a souvenir?

"It's us," he smiled that adorable, dreamy smile and me and I nearly fainted. I noticed Sonny frowning in a corner, but ignored it. I mean, this was CHAD DYLAN COOPER! Ahhhh!

"Now, if you'll excuse me, he needs a shave," Chad pointed to his cardboard cutout, which had a beard and bags under his eyes. Gasp! How could anyone destroy a Chad Dylan Cooper cardboard cutout!? Monsters!

"He's even cuter than his cardboard cutouts!" I squealed to Sonny, who smiled weakly. "And did you hear he's having a birthday party?! Everybody's been talking about it."

"Really?" Sonny asked somewhat reluctantly. I nodded eagerly.

"Do you think maybe we could go?" I gasped. Sonny frowned a little.

"Well, I was kinda hoping that maybe we could hang out like we used to back home," Sonny said tentatively. "You know, hot wings and blindfolded makeovers!"

"Maybe," I gasped again. "There'll be hot wings at the party! Or a chocolate fountain!" Okay, call me a little mean, but I really wanted to go. I was in Hollywood, and the thing I wanted more than anything was to go to a Hollywood party with Sonny, my BFFL.

"Well, maybe, but... I mean," Sonny trailed off sadly. "I'd love to take you, but... I don't even know of any way to get into that party, because... Chad didn't invite me."

What? Chad Dylan Cooper didn't invite my best friend? Suddenly, he didn't seem all that cool anymore. I mean, Sonny is the most amazing girl ever, and if Chad didn't see that, well then, sucks to be him.

"Oh. Oh, well then, psh, forget him," I told her. "It's his loss. We are gonna have _so_ much fun tonight. Because you are aweshome." I grinned at her, but for some reason she didn't return the grin. I walked out of the Prop House, and we headed to Sonny's apartment.

Soon, we were in our pajamas, having made dream catchers and done our mani-pedis, we were doing blindfolded makeovers. These were so much fun back in Wisconsin! I remember screaming at how awful we looked.

"And now some lipstick," I giggled, rubbing it all over Sonny's face. "Done!" We took of our blindfolds, looked at each other, and screamed. We grabbed mirrors, and screamed again. We looked horrible!

"You look aw-ful," I laughed, as we both cracked up.

"You look aw-fuler," Sonny giggled back, causing us to laugh even harder. "Boy I miss doing blindfolded makeovers." she sighed happily. Then, the doorbell rang, and we looked at each other in anticipation.

"Hot wings!" we both yelled happily. Ah, I miss these days.

"Ooh, I'm gonna scare the hot wings guy," Sonny grinned, and I laughed. This would be epic. We counted to three silently then Sonny opened the door and yelled. "Ahh!"

"Ahh!" Tawni shrieked. Wait, Tawni? What the heck was Tawni doing here?

"What are you doing here?" Sonny asked, obviously thinking the same thing I was. Tawni was all dressed up in a pretty dress. Oh, she was probably going to Chad's birthday party. Lucky.

"Wondering when the circus pulled up," Tawni replied, looking at Sonny's blindfolded makeover. She strutted into the room, pulling a really cute pink dress out of her bag.

"Here, I guessed your size," she said, handing it to me. OMG, for me? But why? "You can put it on the limo. We're all going to Chad's Chad-tastic birthday party!" No freakin' way.

"Oh, get out!" I squealed excitedly.

"Yeah, what she said!" Sonny said, sounding really upset. Wait, why was she so mad? I thought Sonny had a little crush on Chad. Whenever we would talk on the phone, she would spend hours talking about Chad this and Chad that.

"This is not happening!" I squealed again. "I wanted to go so badly, but Sonny didn't get invited." Poor Sonny. I thought maybe Chad had liked it. Sonny looked at the ground, looking uncomfortable.

"Of course she did," Tawni said, looking confused. Wait, what?

"Well," Sonny began nervously. "What I meant was... I mean, we haven't spent any time alone. And this was your last night, and I figured that we would just spend it together and..." she trailed off.

Wait. Sonny... lied to me?

"So, you did get invited?" I asked, my heart breaking. I thought she hadn't changed. I guess I was wrong. "I can't believe you lied to me."

"I'm really sorry Luce-" Sonny began, but I didn't want to here it. I stood up and walked towards the door sadly.

"Come on, Tawn," I said.

"Coming Lulu!" she called after me. We went down to the limo where I changed into the dress. I decided that I would forget about Sonny for tonight. I knew that she was my best friend, was being the operative word. But tonight I was going to have a good time.

Chad's party was... Chad-tastic. I mean, it was held at one of the hottest clubs in Hollywood, and there were Chad-themed decorations everywhere. People were dancing to groovy music, and CDC himself was standing there next to a huge cardboard cutout.

"Here we are!" Tawni grinned. "You're first Hollywood party!" I couldn't believe it!

"This is so cool!" I cried. "Back home, the hottest party I ever went to was when my grandfather retired from the gas company!"

"Yeah, that story?" Tawni said, giving me a forced smile. "Don't tell it here."

"Oh, okay," I replied. Be cool, Luce, be cool. Then my favorite song started to play. "Oh, I love this song!" I started doing my favorite dance move, which was a combo of the chicken and the sprinkler. Sonny and I called it "The Chinkler."

"Yeah, that dance? Don't do it here." Tawni said again, stopping me. Right, I nodded. "Here, just have a frappuccino." Tawni handed me a cup with Chad's face on it.

"Actually, that's a Chad-accino," Chad himself said, coming over. "Don't forget to try the Shish Ka-Chad and for dessert we're having Death by Chad-colate." What?

"What's that?" Tawni asked, confused.

"It's cake." Chad replied, shrugging slightly. "Oh, hey, Frankie! 'Scuse me, I gotta go schmooze with the Bonus Jonas," Tawni rolled her eyes, and I remembered that So Random! and MacKenzie Falls were enemies.

Tawni and I went around a bit more, and I think I lost her someplace. Suddenly, I felt a hand on my shoulder. I turned around, expecting Tawni, only to see Chad Dylan Cooper himself. My eyes grew huge.

"Oh, hey, uh- Lucy, was it?" he asked, and I nodded speechless. He looked kinda nervous. "Um, you wouldn't happen to know where uh- Sonny is, do you? Not that I care." He coughed a little at the end, and I smiled. It was obvious that he liked Sonny.

"Um, no, she stayed at home," I told him, and he looked really disappointed.

"Oh, um, okay," he shrugged, trying to act nonchalant. "I was just kinda hoping, you know- since you were here, I mean, not that I like her or anything, psh no." Chad kinda rambled on for a bit, and I personally thought it was really cute.

"Sorry, Chad," I said comfortingly. "Happy birthday though."

"Ah, thanks," he said uncomfortably, still looking a little sad. "Uh, well, see ya." Chad then disappeared into the crowd.

Finally, I found Tawni again, and I began talking and dancing with some really cute boys. Tawni went to go get some food. I was so excited, I started doing the chinkler. Oops. But the guys seemed cool with it, so whatever! Suddenly, I heard someone calling my name.

"Lucy!" I turned around to see Sonny run up onto the stage, being chased by security guards. What the-? "Wait, I just have to say something to my best friend!" she cried, grabbing the mic. "Lucy! Lucy, I'm sorry!" Sonny was dragged away by the security guards.

"Have you guys ever been in a fight with a friend before?" she asked them, and they shrugged. Sympathizing with her, the security guards nodded at let her down. "Thank you," she said, running back onto the stage.

"Yeah, okay, enough of this, let's get back to celebrating me!" Chad interrupted Sonny. What a jerk! What happened to sweet, nervous Chad who cared about Sonny? Dang, that guy was a fast mood changer. Thankfully, the security guards got mad at him, and dragged him off the stage, much to Chad's displeasure.

"Lucy, I'm sorry. I lied to you, and that was wrong of me," Sonny apologized, standing up there in front of hundreds of people. "I just missed you so much, I wanted to have you all to myself." Aw, that was the reason she didn't want me to go to the party? She missed me?

"Oh, Sonny!" I cried, running up onto the stage and giving Sonny a huge hug. But me, being the total klutz I am, knocked Sonny into one of the cardboard cutouts. We all watched in horror as all of Chad's decorations tumbled to the ground, until only the huge one he was standing behind remained upright.

"Hey," he smirked finally. "At least there's still one Chad standing." As of cue, the final cardboard cutout fell forward and knocked Chad face first into his cake.

The crowd gasped as Sonny, Tawni, and I ran up to Chad, laughing hysterically.

"That was aweshome!" Tawni cried, handing us all spoons.

"You guys are aweshomer!" I agreed, taking a spoon. Chad lifted his head, covered in cake. Sonny laughed and took a bite of the cake.

"This cake is the aweshomest!" she laughed, and we all began to eat the cake. I even ate some off of Chad! Eep!

The party ended with a bang, that was for sure. Sonny took me home, and we even still had time for a scary movie marathon. She came with me to the airport to say good-bye. I hated leaving Hollywood and Sonny. I hoped that everything would go okay with her and Chad, because he looked like he really cared about her. Poor guy was probably scared of rejections.

Well, at least I can say that I got to eat cake off of Chad Dylan Cooper.

* * *

**Gee, that was long. I know it's not much of a Channy episode, but I really liked Three's Not Company. I felt bad for Chad. His birthday was a disaster. Poor wittle Chaddykins. **

**Reviews, pwease? *puppy face* **


	4. The Kiss Cam Canoodler

**Hey, everyone, how's it going? What'd you all think of Sonny with a Song? Loved Chad's Ba-Bangs. Hilarious. :D**

**Oh, by the way, I think you should all check out an amazing story called Subject to Change by perfectpro. It's a Camp Rock/SWAC crossover oneshot, and it's just amazing. It's kind of sad, but still really good. And there is some Channy! **

**Disclaimer: Hey, did you guys all read the newest issue of Tween Weekly? Guess what it says? "TeddyLuver owns Sonny with a Chance!" **

**Random person: Um... you realize Tween Weekly isn't a real magazine, right? **

**Me: Oh, right... does that mean my rights to SWAC aren't real either? **

**Random person: Yep. **

**Me: Darn. **

**

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The (Not So) Innocent Bystanders

Hayden Spencer - The Kiss Cam Canoodler

Finally, my dream come true! I was interning at _the_ Condor Studios, home of some of the most talented directors and producers in Hollywood. I was super pysched, because my dream was to become either a director or producer of a hit TV show, like So Random! or MacKenzie Falls.

So, I was currently the intern for Marshall Pike, executive producer of So Random!, and one of my true heroes. I got to follow Marshall around and learn what a typical day for him was.

Right now, I was in the cafeteria, grabbing a frozen yogurt. The froyo here is DELICIOUS! Okay, call me weird, but I like to make sure my yogurt swirls are perfect. I don't know why, I just do.

I could hear Tawni Hart and Sonny Munroe talking over at one of the tables. Another great thing about this job- I get to be around some of the most amazing celebrities. Like Tawni and Sonny. Especially Sonny. She was really talented, not to mention _hot. _I mean Tawni was hot and all too, but Sonny... she was on fire!!

"Hey Tawni," I greeted as I passed her.

"Don't touch my purse!" Tawni shrieked, jumping backwards with a look of horror on her face. Uh...

"O-kay..." I said awkwardly, before turning to Sonny. "Hey Sonny," I grinned. Sonny gave me an awkward smile, which I returned before walking out of the cafeteria. Well, that was... odd.

After I finished eating my yogurt, I headed over to the So Random! set to try to find Marshall, to see if he had anything he wanted me to do. I was walking past the snack table, when suddenly Sonny Munroe popped up in front of me.

"Hey, Hayden!" she greeted, sounding kind of nervous.

"Oh, um, hi Sonny," I smiled. "What's up?"

"Oh, I was just wondering... do you like basketball?" she asked. Dude, I _love_ basketball! Best. Sport. Ever!!

"Yeah, I love basketball," I answered. "Why?"

"Well, you know there's a Lakers' game tonight at the Staples Center and I was wondering..." Sonny trailed off and looked at me. Oh. My. God. Was Sonny Munroe asking me out?

"...yes?"

"If you'd like to go with Tawni," she finished. Yes! Of course I'd go with her, this was- wait. Tawni?

"Tawni?" I asked, confused.

"Yeah, well, see, she really likes you," Sonny rambled. Tawni Hart likes _me_? Whoa. "And she doesn't really know how to do the whole normal-date thing, so I'm helping her out."

"Wait, so you're gonna be there too?" I asked, confirming. Maybe this would turn out okay...

"Well, if you don't want me to be there, then that's okay, I'd totally understand," Sonny began to ramble again.

"No, no, that's fine," I cut her off quickly. "See you tonight?"

"6:30 sharp," she smiled at me, and handed me a ticket. "See ya!" I waved as she skipped off. This was so awesome! I had a date with Sonny Munroe!

Well... sort of.

* * *

I arrived at the Staples Center at 6:25 and found my seat. Sonny and Tawni were already there. Sonny was still wearing that really cute dress she wore earlier today, and Tawni was wearing... a trenchcoat? Well, that was weird.

The courtside seats were _fantastic._ I mean, you could practically reach out and grab the ball if you wanted to. I wonder how Sonny got such amazing seats? I heard Chad Dylan Cooper had some... maybe he gave them to her.

Haha, yeah right. I mean this is Chad Dylan Cooper. Then again, I had been reading about how Chad and Sonny had some sort of love/hate relationship thing going on... eh, sucks for Chad.

"Hey, do you guys want me to get some snacks?" I offered after the first quarter ended.

"Sure, thanks Hayden," Sonny grinned at me. "How about just a soda and popcorn?"

"Make mine diet," Tawni interjected, stroking her poodle purse. Okay, honestly, that thing creeped me out. I mean, a purse that looks like a poodle?

"Sure, be right back," I went to the snack line, which was super long. By the time I got back with the drinks and popcorn, the second quarter had already started.

"Here, I got the snacks," I said, plopping down in my seat next to Tawni. "What'd I miss?" I turned towards the game.

"I took off my coat," Tawni replied, and I turned towards her. Whoa. She was wearing a spaghetti strap sparkly pink dress and heels. Uh...

"Wow, you look great," I complimented her, trying to be nice. She did look great, but this was a basketball game, not a ball.

"You also missed that sweaty guy putting that orange ball in the ball hole," Tawni informed me. "And a bunch of other guys patting his sweaty butt," Tawni made a face. Um... so the Lakers' made a basket?

"See Hayden?" Sonny smiled, leaning over Tawni to look at me. "She may not seem it, but Tawni is a big sports girl," Uh... sure. I glanced over at Tawni who was currently applying lipstick.

"And a foul, yeah!" Sonny cheered, throwing her arms in the air. Yes!! I started clapping. See, Sonny was the kind of girl I liked.

"Thanks a lot Sonny," Tawni hissed. I turned back towards her to see a huge lipstick stain on her cheek. Uh oh.

"Oh, Tawni, I'm so sorry!" Sonny apologized.

"No, seriously, thanks a lot," Tawni repeated, not sounding sarcastic this time. "What's the point in wearing a dress like this if you can't walk around in it?" Eh, she did have a point. "Be right back!" Tawni got up and walked towards the bathroom.

"So, how's it going with Tawni?" Sonny grinned at me, taking Tawni seat. Now, that's what I'm talking about. I was about to answer when the loudspeaker blared.

"Time out on the blue team! Now give it up for your Kiss Cam!" The crowd cheered as the Kiss Cam appeared on the big screen.

"Aww, the Kiss Cam is so cute!" Sonny beamed, as we watched couples kiss. "Kiss! Kiss! Kiss!" we started chanting along with everyone else.

"Aww, look at Grandma and Grandpa up there just making out," I chuckled as we watched a granny couple kiss. The Kiss Cam moved to focus on a new couple.

"Hey, look that's us," I noted staring up at the big screen before realization set in. Oh crap. Wait! This meant that I got to kiss Sonny! Yes!

"No, no, no!" Sonny chanted awkwardly. "We're just friends, friends, friends!"

"BOO!" everyone shouted, and started throwing soda cups and popcorn at us.

"Man, it got ugly in here fast," I commented. C'mon Sonny, kiss me. You know you wanna.

"Come on guys, this isn't even my date!" Sonny wailed, but the crowd didn't let up.

"Fine!" Sonny shouted. "You want kissing? I'll give you kissing!" YES! Sonny leaned over and pecked me quickly. Oh yeah. I just kissed Sonny Munroe. Boo yah!

"There, ya happy?" she yelled. Ohhh, yes. I'm very happy.

"Sonny! What are you doing?!" Tawni yelled. TAWNI!? Oh crap, did she see that?

"Tawni, it's not what it looks like, I promise!" Sonny begged. "It was the Kiss Cam!"

"Really?" Tawni spat. "Well, I think that was a foul against Team Tawni. And I think Ralph will agree with me." Tawni turned and stormed off. Ralph?

"Who's Ralph?" I asked Sonny.

"She means ref," Sonny answered, looking distressed. "Hayden, I'm really sorry, but I think I should go now," Aw man...

"Okay..." I sighed. Sonny stood up and went to leave. She turned and gave me an apologetic smile.

"Sorry about ruining your date," she said, before hurrying away quickly. I slumped down in my seat. Tomorrow I'd confront Sonny and ask her out on a real date.

But for now... I had a basketball game to finish watching.

* * *

I hid behind a corner as I heard Sonny arguing with Tawni outside their dressing room. Apparently Tawni had locked Sonny out... she must still be mad about what happened yesterday.

"You can't say no to the Kiss Cam!" Sonny wailed.

"You just couldn't say no to the Kiss Cam, could ya?" I heard a new male voice. I peeked around the corner to see Chad Dylan Cooper. Whoa, what was Chad Dylan Cooper doing there?

"Chad, not now," Sonny turned around and faced him.

"I trusted you, Sonny," Chad, sounding like a disappointed father. "Okay? I trusted you to use my seats responsibly. And instead, I wake up this morning to find _this_ on the cover of Tween Weekly."

Chad held up a magazine to that had a picture of Sonny and I kissing on the front cover. "KISS! KISS! KISS!" it read. Oh boy. The paparazzi followed us to the game? Well, she is Sonny Munroe. Oh my god, imagine the publicity I could get if she went out with me! I'd be recognized as a movie producer instantly!

Sonny shrugged and gave him a 'why-do-you-care' look. Chad looked incredulous as he mimicked her movements.

"Who is this guy?!" he demanded. Sonny opened her mouth but was cut off by Tawni screaming inside the dressing room.

"The love of my life!" Tawni screamed.

"Then why is she kissing him!?!" Chad shrieked, his voice going up two octaves. Whoa... sounds like someone's jealous, Cooper.

"I don't know!" Tawni answered, wailing.

"I told you, it was the Kiss Cam!" Sonny cried desperately.

"Hey, Sonny!" Nico and Grady called as they wheeled a cart full of... sandwiches? towards the dressing room.

"It was the Kiss Cam!" Sonny cried on impulse, whirling around to face them.

"I told you it was the Kiss Cam!" Grady cried triumphantly as Nico grimaced and pulled out some money.

Then Nico, Grady and Chad got into some kind of argument about whose sandwich was better. Thankfully, they left. I needed to talk to Sonny and the last thing I needed was a jealous drama star. I came out from behind the corner and walked towards Sonny.

"Hayden, can I talk to you for a sec?" Sonny asked me.

"Yeah, is Tawni okay?" I asked, feeling kind of bad. "She ran away so fast after that silly Kiss Cam thing that I didn't get a chance to say goodbye,"

"Well, why say goodbye, when you can say hello?" Sonny gave me a smile. "Again? Like... on a date?" Another date? With... Tawni?

"Me and Tawni?" I asked, and Sonny nodded energetically. "I mean, she's pretty, but I'm not really sure that she's ... my type."

"Pfff!" Sonny snorted. "Tawni Hart is the most... down-to-earth, unpretentious, regular girl you will ever meet." Uh... was today opposite day?

"I don't know, I mean, I wouldn't even know where to take her," I told Sonny. You on the other hand... "My idea of a fun date is just hanging out, eating a home cooked meal, and listening to some music."

"Oh my gosh!" Sonny laughed, but it sounded forced. "It's like I'm talking to Tawni Hart right now! I'm gonna go talk to Tawni right now." Sonny turned towards the door. "Tawni I need to talk to you right now!" she said quickly.

I sighed and walked off. Didn't seem like this was going to work. And now I had another date with Tawni. Oh boy.

Sonny texted me with Tawni's address and what time to be there. I arrived at her apartment at about 6:00. It didn't really look like the kind of apartment that Tawni Hart would have. I rang the doorbell and it was opened by Tawni, who was wearing some kind of cowboy costume.

"Howdy!" she grinned at me.

"Howdy.. to you too," I waved awkwardly. Oh great, this date was already off to an awkward start. Joy.

"Come on in," Tawni grabbed my arm and pulled me inside, closing the door behind her. Wow... her apartment was really nice. Homey and cozy. But totally not what I'd expect Tawni Hart to live in.

"Why don't we, uh... mosey on over to the couch and sit down like regular folks?" Tawni plopped down on the couch. Okay... why was she talking like that?

"I really like your place," I said, sitting down next to her.

"Seriously?" she asked, sounding disgusted. Um...? "I mean, thanks!" she gave me a somewhat-forced smile.

"This is nice," I said, picking up a pillow. "Did you needlepoint these?"

"Oh yes," Tawni replied. "I made everything in this place! See that little... whatever it is?" she pointed to a ceramic swan on the coffee table. "I made that in ceramics class." I picked it up and looked at it.

"It says Made in China," I informed her, pointing at the little label.

"Uh... that's where the class was!" Tawni said quickly. "China!" Sure... We sat in awkward silence for a few minutes.

"I'm gonna go check on dinner!" Tawni said finally, hopping up.

"Great, I'm starving!" I grinned. "What are we having?" I didn't know Tawni could cook... she seems like one of those people who'd use her oven as a heated closet or something.

"Uh... it's a surprise," Tawni replied. "That _I'm_ cooking. Not a surprise, _that_ I'm _cooking_, I cook all the time!" she confirmed. "I'm gonna go take a peak in my hot clos-ven!" she stopped quickly and turned around. "Called a closven." she laughed awkwardly before heading into the kitchen.

After a few minutes, she returned at sat back down on the couch.

"Dinner looks good," she said.

"Cool, cool," I replied. "Can't wait to see what we're having,"

"Yeah," Tawni laughed awkwardly. "Me neither," I gave her an odd look, but suddenly there was a crash and a squeal from the kitchen.

"What was that?!" I asked, startled.

"Uh, I'll go check!" Tawni replied and rushed into the kitchen. I heard another yell and then Tawni walked out.

"Everything okay?" I asked standing up.

"Something just fell down the eyeliner pencil sharpener," Tawni replied. The what? We sat back down on the couch. "So... where were we?" Tawni asked awkwardly.

"How about putting on some music?" I suggested.

"Sure!" Tawni replied a little too quickly. "I wonder where I keep it," she said, mostly to herself. Oh, did she misplace her CD's? I do that all the time. Finally, she found a CD and put it into the music player. Soon, some incredibly bad country music began playing.

"Ooh, this is my jams!" Tawni giggled and began to do some kind of weird can-can dance.

"You actually like this music?" I asked. I didn't want to sound rude... but seriously, this was terrible!

"Apparently I love it!" Tawni replied. "I've got a boxed set!" I nodded strangely. "I think I have another CD in the kitchen..." Tawni ran into the kitchen again. I heard a scream and some more crashing.

"Tawni, do you need some help?" I asked, shutting off the music and walking towards the kitchen.

"No, no, I'm fine, I'm good!" Tawni said quickly. Aw, did she not want to seem weak? That was sweet. But I walked into the kitchen.

And accidently bumped her forward onto the floor.

"Oh my gosh, sorry!" I cried, rushing forward to help her. "Are you okay?"

"Hayden?" she asked, looking at me. Her eyes seemed unfocused... "Oh, great, now I lost both contact lenses!" she cried. Uh oh, poor Tawni.

"Okay, let me find your glasses," I told her, looking around the kitchen. "Where are they?"

"I don't know, I can't see!" Tawni wailed in despair.

"Okay, don't worry, I'll find them," I patted her shoulder. I shivered. "It's freezing in here, are you cold?" she nodded and I noticed the huge window that was open. "Let me get the window," I walked over and shut it.

"Oh, Hayden, you're so sweet," Tawni said. "But your beard is so rough..." I turned around to see her touching some kind of prickly spice thing.

"Right, glasses," I reminded myself. "Cool, sandwiches," I caught sight of the sandwiches on the table. I grabbed one and walked out to go look for Tawni's glasses.

I walked into what looked like a bedroom. There were tons of pictures of Sonny on the walls, along with some other woman who looked like Sonny's mom. I spotted some rhinestoned glasses on the dresser. Picking those up, I walked back into the living room where Tawni was sitting on the couch, eating a sandwich.

"What are you doing here?" she asked me. Uh... I'm on a date with you?

"Got your glasses," I handed the glasses to her and sat down.

"Oh! Hayden!" she said. Who else would it be? "Thanks! Well, everything's clear as day now!" Tawni put on her glasses and peered at me. Um... were those the wrong glasses? I took another bite of my sandwich. It tasted kinda funny... what was wrong with it?

"I didn't realize how close you and Sonny are," I told her, referring to the pictures in her room.

"Oh, we're not that close," Tawni assured me. Okay?

"There are a lot of pictures of her in that room," I said, confused.

"She keeps... sending those to me!" Tawni said. "I'm gonna go check on dinner." Tawni got up and stumbled off in the wrong direction.

"Tawni, isn't the kitchen the other way?" I asked, running after her and re-directing her.

"Of course the kitchen's that way," Tawni laughed. "I know where my own kitchen is- ooof!" Tawni squealed and pitched forward as the door was knocked off it's hinges. There stood... Chad Dylan Cooper? What the heck?

"Freeze!" he yelled, striking a karate pose.

"Don't touch my purse!" Tawni yelled back.

"Chad Dylan Cooper?" I asked, grinning. "This is awesome, what are you doing here?"

"I got a weird call from Sonny's cell," he said. Sonny's cell? "I heard screaming and crushing metal... so I cut my massage an hour short and rushed over," ... wait, what? Why did he come to Tawni's house? Chad looked around, and a confused expression formed on his face.

"Where's Sonny? What are you doing here?" he asked, indicating Tawni and me.

"Hah!" Tawni laughed awkwardly, slapping the post. "I live here, you silly!"

"I'm over here, you silly!" Chad imitated her. "Okay, something weird's going on," he said, voicing my exact thoughts. What the heck was happening?

"No it's not!" Tawni said, laughing forcedly. "I'm just having a normal date in my apartment!" Tawni smiled hugely and fakely.

"Chad?!" another voice cried. I whirled around to see Nico and Grady come out of the bathroom, holding... a plunger? What the-?

"Nico and Grady?" I asked, getting more confused by the minute. "Where did you guys come from?"

"Well, originally, I'm from Orlando, Florida," Grady began to say. "But my dad's in the military, so..."

"What are you two doing here?" Chad cut him off, striding up towards them.

"Sonny wanted some of our sandwiches," Nico answered. Wait, their sandwiches? So, Tawni didn't make those sandwiches?

"Yeah, cause' ours are better than yours!" Grady bragged, waving his half-eaten sandwich in Chad's face.

"Give me that!" Chad snatched the sandwich out of Grady's hand and took a bite. "This tastes like it's been out in the sun for ten hours,"

"Ha-ha, twelve!" Grady grabbed the sandwich back and Chad gagged. Wait, so the sandwich I just ate has been sitting out for twelve hours?

As if things weren't already confusing enough, Sonny ran in, looking exhausted. Her hair was a mess and she was wearing a dirty apron.

"What happened to my door?!" she cried, looking at the door Chad had broken.

"You mean, my door!" Tawni corrected her.

"No, Chad, what are you doing here?" Sonny asked, looking at Chad. "Why are you holding my plunger?" Sonny asked Nico and Grady.

"You mean _my _plunger!" Tawni insisted.

"No, why are you wearing my mom's needlepointing glasses?" Sonny asked Tawni.

"You mean _my needlepointing glasses_!" Tawni insisted again.

"No, I don't mean that!" Sonny cried.

"Wait a minute, wait a minute," I said, really confused now. "You mean you didn't needlepoint these pillows? What kind of person lies about needlepointing? What's going on here, Tawni?!" Tawni sighed and walked over, putting her hands on Grady's shoulders.

"Look, Hayden, who am I kidding?" she began.

"Uh, Hayden's over there," Grady cut her off. Tawni moved over to Nico and put her hands on his shoulders.

"I thought we could really get to know each other-" she continued.

"One more to the left," Nico interrupted her. She finally reached me and put her hands on my shoulders.

"But this is not who I am, okay?" she explained. "This isn't my apartment, these aren't my glasses, and I've never even been to China. I'm Tawni Hart, and I'm a star!" she struck a dramatic pose in the middle of the room. "You can take me as I am, or not at all! What do you say to that?"

I was about to thank her for being honest with me, but maybe she should stick to dating people who were more like her. I was going to say thanks for the date and I'm sorry it didn't work out. But then, my stomach lurched horribly. The rotten sandwiches were finally getting to me. I put a hand over my mouth and streaked to the bathroom.

After I had finished puking my guts out into Sonny's toilet, I walked back into the living room. Sonny was there looking exhausted as she cleaned up some barf on the floor that must have come from Tawni.

"Hey Hayden," she said tiredly. "Is anyone else in there?"

"Um, I think Nico and Grady left already," I replied, feeling bad for her. Maybe it wasn't too late to ask her out... I opened my mouth and was about to ask her, when Chad walked in, looking really pale.

"Hey, uh- Sonny?" he asked weakly. "Um, do you have any Tylenol or something?"

"Oh, Chad, are you all right?" Sonny ran over to the the drama star and put a hand on his forehead. "Oh my gosh, I think you have a fever!"

"No, no, I'm just a little-" Chad began, walking forward. He stumbled slightly and Sonny held him upright.

"Chad, you're in no condition to do anything right now," Sonny guided him to the couch where he lay down shakily. "Just lie down for now and I'll get you some Tylenol," Chad nodded and closed his eyes.

"Oh, uh- Sonny?" he asked. Sonny turned towards him. "Uh, thanks. And um, sorry for breaking down your door," Sonny gave him a genuine smile.

"That's all right Chad," she smiled. "And you're welcome."

I felt kind of awkward as Sonny rushed around, fussing over Chad. She seemed to really like him, as much as she denied it. I sighed, realizing that she probably wouldn't go out with me anyways.

"Uh, Sonny? I'm just gonna go now, okay?" I asked.

"Yeah, sorry about your date, again," Sonny gave a sympathetic smile, but it wasn't the same as the adoring smile she gave Chad.

"Eh, it's okay," I waved to her one last time and walked out the broken door.

Looks like I was stuck with just being an intern for now.

* * *

**Phew, that was long! I loved jealous Chad in this episode. "Then why is she kissing him!?!" Aww, someone's in denial. :D**

**Oh, and please don't forget to go check out the new joint account I made with Channy4Ever343! Our pen name is ChannyLuver. Thanks a bunch! **

**Reviews would be very nice. :) Make my Spring Break very happy, pwease? **


	5. Daddy's Little Angel

**Hi everyone, I know it's been a really long time since I updated. I promise you, I have tons of very good excuses, but I'm going to write them at the bottom A/N. Enjoy the chapter! **

**Disclaimer: Nope, still don't own SWAC. **

**

* * *

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The (Not So) Innocent Bystanders

Dakota Condor - Daddy's Little Angel

"Dakota, honey, here are your cookies," Mrs. Barf, our maid, handed me a platter of cookies. Okay, her name isn't _really_ Mrs. Barf, it's Mrs. Barfé, but same difference. I ran my eyes of the plate of cookies.

"Mrs. Barf," I began in a sweet tone. "There are chocolate chip cookies. _I ASKED FOR BUTTERSCOTCH AND CHOCOLATE CHIP!_" Mrs. Barf stumbled backwards and ran out of the room. Gosh, it's so hard to find good help these days. I propped my feet up on my leather couch.

"Omigosh!" I squealed happily, leaning towards my plasma widescreen TV. "MacKenzie Falls is on! So much drama," I copied dramatically. "So little time." I flung myself backwards onto the couch. I quickly righted myself and leaned closer as _Chad Dylan Cooper _appeared on screen.

Chad Dylan Cooper. He is so... yummy. Mmm, that boy is one hot cookie. Unfortunately, my plans to date him have a while to go. See, according to my daddy, I still think boys have cooties. He doesn't even know I watch MacKenzie Falls. He thinks it's too "mature" for me.

But I had to find a way to meet Chad. I mean, he _was_ my future husband after all. But how...

Just then, a commercial for that loser comedy show, So Random!, came on. Ugh, what a joke. They were doing some thing where their newest cast member, Sonny Munroe was going to treat a poor, underprivileged child to a day at So Random!

Wait a minute...

A devious plan formed in my head as I watched the commercial. I could fake a charity and use it to win the day at So Random! Or better, win the day at Condor Studios. Beacuse guess who works at Condor Studios? Only the hottest heartthrob _ever. _Quickly, I grabbed one of my twenty phones and dialed the number they showed on the screen.

"Hello, you've reached Sonny Munroe!"

"Sonny Munroe?" I made my voice sound hopeful and wondering. "My name is Dakota!"

"Hi Dakota," I could hear Sonny sounding a bit confused. "What can I do for you?"

"Well, I _love_ So Random!" I simpered. "And you're my _favorite_ celebrity. I really want to meet you, and the people at the Children Having A Dream foundation said that you would help me."

"Aww..." Sonny cooed. "Of course I will! You just come on down to Condor Studios tomorrow, and I'll give you the best day ever!"

"Thank you so much!" I squealed. "Bye!" I hung up the phone and an even grin formed on my face.

"MRS. BARF! DRIVE ME TO CONDOR STUDIOS TOMORROW!"

* * *

The next morning, I was looking adorable in a little pink dress with tights and boots. And of course, my hair was in braids. Why? Because braids just scream _adorable._

"Dakota! Hi, I'm Sonny!" Sonny Munroe rushed up to me, grinning hugely and carrying... a muffin basket? Okay, really?

"You're here!" she beamed. No duh, Sherlock. "I'm going to give you the best day of your little life!" I arranged my face in a sad expression.

"It's not gonna be that hard Sonny," I sighed. Hey, might as well play the part good, right?

"Well, will this help?" Sonny asked, handing me the muffin basket. I rolled my eyes inwardly. Good thing I'm a natural born actress.

"A So Random! gift basket!" I exclaimed, taking it from her. "My life's already better!"

"Yeah!" Sonny laughed. "You got your So Random! sun visor," she placed the visor on my head. "Your Nico and Grady yo-yo. Watch this, it even talks." Sonny grinned and spun the yo-yo.

"Yo-yo I'm Nico! Yo-yo I'm Grady!" it talked in a mechanical voice. Oh my god. That was the lamest thing I've ever seen.

"Believe it or not, it's a collector's item," Sonny said, in a voice that implied she also thought it was lame. Huh. Maybe she wasn't as stupid as she seemed. "Oh, look, there's Zora! Hey Zora!" she pointed as the creepy girl rode by on her scooter.

"Hi!" I grinned angelically as the girl passed me. Her grin faded and her eyes widened.

"Evil," she hissed, before riding away. Uh oh. Who did this freak think she was?

"Uh, don't take that personally," Sonny told me, looking worried. "That's just Zora."

"That's okay," I replied, gazing up at her. "When every day's a struggle, names don't bother you." Wow, impressive. Sonny's eyes widened and she put a hand to her heart. I glanced to my left to see a poster of MacKenzie Falls.

Time to put my plan in action.

"Oh my gosh, MacKenzie Falls shoots here?" I gasped. "I had no idea. I love Chad Dylan Cooper."

"Yeah, so does Chad Dylan Cooper," Sonny muttered. What is that supposed to mean?

"You think I can meet him?" I asked, turning to her hopefully.

"But... you won the day at So Random!" Sonny said.

"I get it Sonny," I sighed again. "Just another disappointment." I gazed towards the MacKenzie Falls poster longingly.

"No, no, no!" Sonny cried quickly. "Sonny Munroe does not disappoint! She... appoints!" Sonny grinned dumbly and tapped my nose.

"You'd do that for me?" I exclaimed.

"Just watch me dial my cell phone," she beamed and I let out a squeal. A real one. I was gonna meet Chad Dylan Cooper! Sonny dialed her phone and put it to her ear while I waited in anticipation. Her face changed suddenly, from a grin to more of a worried grimace. She quickly hung up.

"Let's go get some ice cream!" she grinned suddenly, and dragged me along. I rolled my eyes. What about Chad Dylan Cooper? Maybe she had gotten his voicemail. Then why didn't she leave a message?

I decided to go along with it for now. Sonny took me to the cafeteria to get lunch, where I ordered a hamburger. As I peeled the bun off, I realized they forgot the pickles! Gasp! How could they forget pickles?

"Hey Dakota," Sonny sat down next to me. "How's your hamburger?"

"They forgot to put the pickles on it," I scowled. I mean, really? What kind of idiot doesn't eat pickles with their burgers?

"But, you didn't ask for pickles," Sonny said, looking confused.

"Yeah," I gazed dramatically up at her. "Because my life is already sour enough." I pushed the burger away and pouted slightly.

"Look, why don't I call Chad?" Sonny suggested. My face lit up. Finally! I sat in up in my chair as Sonny dialed again. Suddenly, her expression changed again. Oh no, this was not happening again!

"Really, Chad?" she asked in an annoyed tone. Yes! She was talking to him! "Look, I need a favor. I have the sweetest girl here and she really wants to meet you." Sonny's face changed into an annoyed look again. "She's _nine._" Sonny's face looked shocked, and she pulled the phone away from her ear.

"Yeah, bad connection, I'll call you back, don't worry about it!" she said quickly, laughing somewhat forcedly. "Bad connection." she chuckled, looking towards me. I rolled my eyes inwardly. I bet Chad hung up on that loser. Wouldn't blame him. Sonny dialed her phone again.

"Look, I have the sweetest little girl in the world, and she really wants to meet you," Sonny insisted, going outside. I sighed once more. My meeting with Chad Dylan Cooper was looking more and more uncertain. After a while, Sonny came back in.

"Okay! I'll talk to you later!" she chuckled in that same forced way. "Okay, peace out!" Sonny turned to me, looking worried. "Look, Dakota, Chad can't make it. He's uh... very busy."

WHAT!

"Of course he is," I groaned, getting up. "Story of my life." It really was. Daddy was always too busy to play with me, our maids are always too busy cleaning, the butler is always too busy... doing whatever a butler does. Anyways, the point was, even though I had everything I wanted, no one spent any time with me.

"Hey, now, come on!" Sonny encouraged. "When life gives you lemons, what do you do? You make lemonade!"

"I don't want lemonade!" I whined. "I want Chad!"

"Well, what if that lemonade you were drinking," Sonny grinned fakely at me and pulled a crazy straw out of her basket. "Was coming out of a So Random! crazy straw? See?"

She began babbling about how 'awesome' this crazy straw was. I was really, really, angry now. I didn't care about Sonny or her stupid lemons. Or her stupid crazy straw. All I wanted was Chad Dylan Cooper.

"I. Want. CHAD!" I yelled, stomping on Sonny's foot and then storming out of the room. I stormed into the Prop House with Sonny hobbling behind me.

"Dakota! Toe stomping is not nice!" she chastised me. I gave her a puppy dog look and her face softened. "Aw, but you're so cute and so underprivileged, I'll forgive you!" Like taking candy from a baby.

"Aw!" I turned around to see the other blonde girl beaming at me. "Is this the little darling from the Children Having A Dream foundation?" I gave her a toothy grin.

"Awww, EVIL." the freak opened her coffin and scowled at me. I returned the scowl. That just proves she is a freak. What kind of person lives in a coffin?

"Zora, she is not evil!" Sonny insisted. "She might have... anger issues, but mostly she's..."

"Disappointed!" I cut in.

"Because you got stuck with Sonny?" the blonde sympathized. "Girlfriend, I know how you feel."

"No!" I told her to talk to the hand and turned back to Sonny. "I'm disappointed because none of you are Chad Dylan Cooper!" The whole room gasped in unison.

"Well," the blonde boy said, getting up from the couch. "According to the World Wide Web, we are much cooler than Chad Dylan Cooper."

"This isn't about cool!" I shot back. "This is about _hot._ Chad Dylan Cooper is _hot!" _Oh, he was on fire! "Get out of my way old lady!" I shoved the blonde girl aside and walked towards a gnome.

"Hey, hey, hey!" the freak yelled. "Paws off the gnome, sister."

"It's _mine_." I smiled sweetly. "Until I get to meet Chad."

"Oh, I don't think that you wanna get in a gnome fight with me," Freak glared at me and grabbed the gnome. I tugged it away from her.

"Oh, look he's wearing the same pants as you!" I jeered. I threw the gnome onto the ground, where it shattered.

"GNOMIE!" the freak screeched, then attacked me. I fought back, kicking and screaming, until finally Sonny pulled me away.

"Dakota! Stop!" Sonny screamed. "Uh, why don't we continue the tour?" she suggested, looking desperate.

"Is Chad on the tour?" I asked sweetly.

"... no," Sonny replied uncertainly.

"Then put him on the tour!" I yelled before stomping on Sonny's foot once more and storming away. Sonny followed me into her dressing room.

"Dakota! Stop this right now!" she insisted. "Please, let's just do something nice!" I was really getting sick of Sonny. It was obvious she wasn't gonna be any help, so I needed to get rid of her.

"Okay, I'm sorry," I sighed. "Can we play dress up?"

"Sure!" Sonny cried, looking immensely relieved. I grabbed some scarves and stuff.

"Okay, go stand by the mannequin!" I grinned cheerily. "I have to decide how to make you look pretty!" Sonny smiled and stood by the mannequin. "Now close your eyes." Sonny did as instructed, looking a little confused. Before she knew it, I tied a scarf around her arms and legs. Her eyes flew open.

"Dakota!" Sonny cried. "What are you-" she was cut off as I tied a scarf around her mouth.

"I'm going to see Chad." I declared. "Peace out suckas!" I ran out of the room and towards the MacKenzie Falls set. Unfortunatly, the two dumb boys and Freak were waiting for me.

"We thought you might try to escape," Freak glared. "Get her, boys!" The two boys grabbed me and dragged me back to Sonny's dressing room. Sonny and Blondie were already there.

"You!" Sonny glared, stomping over to me. I stifled my giggles when I saw she was still tied up. "Are one mean, manipulative, selfish..."

"Gnome murdering!" Freak broke in.

"Chad-loving!" the two boys cried.

"Sonny-tying!" the blonde smiled, applauding me. I grinned slightly at her.

"... _evil_ little girl," Sonny finished, glaring daggers at me.

"And you say it like it's a _bad _thing," I smiled back at her.

"That's because it is a _bad_ thing!" Sonny cried. "What were you raised by wolves? I'm gonna call your parents and I'm gonna give them a little piece of my mind!" Oh, go right ahead darling. If you wanna get fired.

Just then, my daddy walked into the dressing room. Perfect timing.

"Hang on a moment, Mr. Condor!" Sonny yelled, still glaring at me. "I am in the middle of giving this little girl-" I decided it was time to end this.

"Daddy!" I cried, running over and jumping into my daddy's arms. The others gasped in shocked.

"The best day ever!" Sonny finished unconvincingly.

"Good news Princess, I got you a puppy," Daddy grinned at me. I acted shocked, and then gave him another big hug. Big deal. I already have 12 puppies. "I will see you later, my darling."

"Okay, bye!" I grinned and waved at him. "I love you with all my heart." We did our little kiss-heart-hand thing, and my daddy left. I turned back to the idiots, who were standing there looking dumbstruck.

"Okay, _losers_," I scowled. "Everybody front and center!" The loses scrambled forward. That's more like it!

"So?" I asked them, walking by and glaring at each one of them. "What have we learned today?"

"That your dad owns the studio?" Freak said uncertainly. No duh, Sherlock.

"That I'm under photographed," Blondie sighed. Okay, whatever. I reached Sonny.

"That Children Having A Dream isn't a real charity," she glared at me. "You made it up."

"Of course I made it up," I replied. "But the dream is real." I walked over to a mirror and pulled out a tube of lipstick.

"Children. Having. A. Dream." I sighed, writing the first letter of each word on the mirror. They spelled out CHAD.

"Chad," they all hissed.

"Chad," I sighed dreamily.

"Uh, Miss Condor?" the darker boy asked. "If your dad owns the studio, why did you have to go through all this to meet Chad Dylan Cooper?"

"I'm nine," I explained, shrugging. "I'm not really supposed to watch MacKenzie Falls. And I'm certainly not supposed to be crushing on the star. My daddy thinks I'm an angel."

"Obviously, he doesn't have a very good sense of direction," Freak laughed bitterly. I glared at her.

"Now," I said. "Get me some quality face time with Chad Dylan Cooper!" Sonny began to protest, but Blondie cut her off.

"Sonny," Blondie said warningly. "Remember, she's the sweet little daughter of the guy..."

"With the power to fire you," I finished her statement, grinning. "So make it happen! NOW!" I yelled and they all scattered in different directions. I lay on the striped couch and waited for one of them to come back with Chad Dylan Cooper.

About half an hour later, Sonny rushed back into the dressing room looking excited. With no Chad. This better be good.

"Guess what Dakota?" she grinned. "I got you a _date_ with Chad!"

"Date!" I gasped excitedly.

"Yep," Sonny beamed. "He's going to meet you, at this hot new club called the Basement!" Oh my god. I was going _clubbing_ with Chad Dylan Cooper! SWOON!

"You're the best Sonny!" I cried and enveloped her in a huge hug.

"Aw, thank you!" she patted my back awkwardly. "Well, come on, let's get you looking pretty!" Sonny helped me get into a cute purple dress and curled my hair. Finally, she blindfolded me and led me somewhere.

"Where are you taking me?" I demanded. "And why do I have to be blindfolded?"

"I'm taking you to the basement," Sonny answered. "It's so exclusive, no one can know where it is!" Finally, I heard music and saw bright flashes through my blindfold. I began to dance and Sonny led me over.

"Chad, Dakota," Sonny introduced. Oh my god. I ripped of my blindfold. "Dakota..."

"Chad!" I squealed. Oh my Chad, he was even hotter in person.

"Aw," he cooed. "You must be the sweet little girl I'm obligated to hang with." I clapped my hands and Sonny picked me up.

"It's really you," I giggled, touching his face. "Now, take me to the back of his head!" I demanded. Sonny took me around to the back. "He's perfect back here too!" I giggled, playing with his hair. It was so soft...

"Ohmygosh, I love this song!" I cried as a slow song came on. "Take me back to his front! Let's dance." I grinned at him before grabbing his arms and swaying to the music. I was dancing with Chad Dylan Cooper! Eek!

"Soo..." Sonny broke in after a while. "I'm feeling a little third wheel-ish, but thanks for the dance!" She set me down and walked away. Good riddance. I began to pull Chad closer and kept dancing with him.

"It was great meeting you," Chad said after a while. "You have outstanding taste in TV stars. I just need to dance with someone a little more... not you."

Oh my god. There was no way he just looked at Sonny.

No. Way. Chad was _mine!_

"Chad," I put my arms out stopping him from walking towards Sonny. Chad and Sonny? That's... that's all wrong. Chad and _I_ belong together! "Let me explain to you how this evening is gonna work. You're gonna hang out with me. A little talky, talky, and little dancy, dancy. You'll laugh at all my jokes, and then, we'll live happily ever after." I grinned, pulling him closer.

Chad quickly stood up. What the heck was he doing?

"Okay, now I held my end of the bargain," he insisted. What bargain? "The meety-meety, the greety-greety, and now the beaty-beaty. So beat it." Gasp! Oh, no he didnt! He was not getting rid of me that easily. I clutched onto his leg and didn't let go.

"Whoot whoot!" I heard a new voice and turned around to see my daddy.

Perfect.

"Hey, Mr. Condor!" Chad yelled out. "Hey, how's it going, man? Can you believe this little brat?" I gave Chad a sweet look before rushing over to daddy.

"Daddy!" I cried, hugging him.

"DADDY?" Chad echoed in shock.

"Sonny!" Daddy boomed. "You brought my precious angel to a Hollywood club?" Uh oh, there he goes being all overprotective of me. They talked for a little, and Daddy didn't fire them, unfortunately. However, the club did turn out to be fake, which was pretty funny. Only those losers would create a fake club. Daddy led me away, and we went out for ice cream and burgers (with pickles of course).

I didn't really pay attention to what my daddy was yelling at Sonny and Chad about. I was too mad about them. I mean, Sonny and Chad? Well, Sonny better get this into her puny little skull:

Chad Dylan Cooper is _mine._

And I don't share.

* * *

**This is really long, but please take the time to read it! It's important!**

**Hello! Remember all those really good excuses I promised? Well, turns out there's just one: school. It's a very good excuse though. The good news is, it's almost over for me. **

**The bad news, is that I have to give in my laptop to be updated for a whole month. So I won't be able to be on FanFiction for awhile. I'll be able to use my mom's computer every once in a while, but I definitely won't be doing any writing until I get my laptop back. :( I'm sorry, and I will miss you all very much! **

**I'm dedicating this chapter to all of you who have been patient enough to put up with my slow updates and long absences! I love you all! Have some virtual cookies! Special thanks to my awesome FanFiction BFF, DancingRaindrops , who was sweet enough to dedicate her latest one shot to me. I'll miss you! I'll miss you all! **

**Second thing: Lately, there has been some plagiarism going on in the SWAC archive. One person in particular has been copying other author's stories and reposting them as her own. I think this is dishonest, low, and just plain wrong. I encourage all of you to go check out the user account Friends4Change, started by Demi-Fan-Channy. **

**The main person behind all of this is someone called funnylovin. I implore you to go report her stories, because they are not her own. I also highly suggest that you DO NOT REVIEW these stories, even if you are posting a flame. First of all, flaming is not right, and I don't think that we should resort to that level. Second, these people are just looking for attention, and by reviewing/flaming, you are just giving them what they want. **

**So please, report, but don't review. **

**And the third thing: For those of you who have read my one-shot, _Pictures of You_, many people have suggested that I continue it. I think that's a good idea and I will think about that once I start writing again. However, I'll need some ideas. **

**The main question I had though, is what song should I use? I want to use a song for each chapter if I continue, since it was originally a songfic. If you guys could suggest some song names and artists that you think would fit the story. **

**That's all! Thank you for putting up with my incredibly long author's note! I love you all and I'm going to miss you SO much! **

**Peace, love, and TONS of hugs and kisses,**

**~ TeddyLuver ~**


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